Saying Goodbye

Funeral details for our dear Liz - Monday 2nd Dec, 10.30am - St Kevin's, Eastwood. More details in Saturdays SMH and online.

Much love.
Yvette
xxx

Her Last Breath

...was taken this morning at 3.30am.  No words.  Love and strength to her family and friends.  Time will come where we can celebrate having known our beautiful Liz, but right now it is time to grieve.

Yvette
xxx

Day by Day

I went and saw Liz today.  I am trying to visit her as often as possible but it has pretty much ended up that I am seeing her weekly.  I can only base this post on what I have seen but I know her family have been by her side day in and day out and see the ups and downs far more closely than I do.

What I noticed today is that Liz is sleeping more and is having less and less time awake.  She was only awake for short periods of time while I was there but when she was awake she blessed me with a beautiful smile and I got to tell her how much I love her.

It seems as though Liz is slowly drifting into a downward spiral and doesn't seem to be bouncing back at all.  Her wonderful wonderful family is there for her and never leaving her side.  What amazing people they are.

It is heartbreaking to see her but I love being with her and I hope that the presence of people who love her give her something in return.  I know that she has had a few visitors over the last couple of weeks and she has let me know when she has seen people she hasn't seen for years, it really lifted her spirits.

I can't predict what will happen and when, but Liz is very very sick and life is a struggle.  We all love Liz and are so desperately sad about this so I hope we can support each other and send our love, strength and peace to Liz and her family.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

An Update

There isn't a huge amount to update you all with but as it has been a while since my last post I thought I should come in and let everyone know what is going on with Liz.

Liz is still in St Josephs.  She has had a couple of nights here and there at home but no longer than a 24 hour period.

The doctors are still playing with her meds to make sure she stays as comfortable as possible.  When I saw Liz (about a week and a half ago) she was doing as good as can be expected and we had a walk around the grounds.  She has a pretty sexy four wheel walker which came with us.  She tires very easily and needs lots of rest.

So at this stage not too much to say but please keep your positive thoughts and love coming her way.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Prayers, wishes and fairy dust

Liz is currently spending some time in respite as her meds are played around with.  She has been suffering from anxiety and finally a doctor was able to say that one of the anti nausea meds has a side effect of causing anxiety.  Here's hoping that now that they are able to change her meds she will start to be able to rest.  At this stage it is only family who can see her but of course please send your prayers, your best wishes or whatever it is that you believe in.  She really needs it.  Life for Liz, Jason and the kids right now is pretty scary so lets give them all our love and support to help them.  It's also important to remember how devastating this is for all of Liz's family including her parents and sisters and Jason's family too along with their extended family.  Watching your loved ones go through this torment is bloody awful.  So please include them in your prayers and good thoughts.  Much love to you all.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Ups and Downs

Liz and her friend Barbara attended a "Looking Good, Feel Better" workshop a couple of weeks ago.  Liz got her makeup done and had a fun day out.  Thought I would post the photo as I think Liz looks lovely with her makeup done!

Liz had to spend 24 hours in hospital this week as she was unable to hold down food or water.  She is back home again and hoping to continue improving.

So the down side is that chemo couldn't start because she was too sick.  It's now scheduled to start in a couple of weeks.

The up side is that the radiation seems to have done some good.  The tumours in her throat and lungs have shrunk.  This is very positive news and shows that even though the treatment is taking its toll, it is also working its magic on the cancer!

There have been so many wonderful people who have been helping out.  So many who come over and help out around the house and garden, help with the children and make sure that Liz is comfortable and doesn't have to tire herself out too much.  What wonderful wonderful people you all are!

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxxx

The journey continues!

The good news, no the GREAT news is that Liz is home and starting to feel better.  She has spent a lot of time resting and has started to get out a bit more now.  She managed to get to the kids little Athletics meeting on the weekend and stayed up to watch the AFL grand final.  All this is very positive!  She is looking a lot better too which for those of us seeing her from the outside gives us courage and strength.

Today she had a scan of her brain and the tumour has shrunk which is FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!  In the next week or so they will do a body scan to see how her lungs are going so keep everything crossed that also shows the tumours shrinking.

Chemo will start in 3 weeks but at this stage not too sure how long it will go for.  I know Liz is looking forward to our holidays planned in January where there are a few families heading down the south coast for 10 days and we cannot wait either. 

Liz is now doing some things with the kids and resting as much as she can.  She thinks that in 3 weeks she will be ready to face chemo and we will be there to support her as much as we can.  Please keep sending your love and thoughts and prayers her way.  I know that Liz loves to hear any messages of support.  Doing a happy dance tonight!

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Not Good News

I don't have anything particularly positive to tell you about Liz at the moment.  On Wednesday she was taken to hospital because she was having trouble breathing.  She was also coughing a lot and in a lot of pain.

They took lots of x-rays and scans of her chest and initially they thought she had a clot on her lung but now they believe she has pneumonia.

So she is hospital getting lots of meds to help her with the pneumonia and also pain meds and anti-nausea meds.  She hasn't been eating or drinking enough and they need to get her better nourished so that she has a chance of fighting off all these nasty side effects.

She has had a few visitors over the last few days but she is finding it exhausting.  As much as it pains us, we need to respect the fact that Liz is too tired to see us just now.  She is trying to get better so that she can face the chemo that is coming up.  Hopefully now that she is in hospital and getting nutrition and hydration and lots of good medication she will start to get well soon.

Please please please keep sending love and strength her way.  Liz appreciates all your thoughts and prayers.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Cancer Sucks

I would think that everyone shares the sentiment of this blog post title.  It's something that I hear quite a lot because cancer has affected every family that I know in some way.  Knowing how prevalent it is doesn't actually make it easier to deal with when it hits someone you love, or when it affects you personally.  How can it be easy?  There is so much waiting, testing, treatment, sickness, exhaustion and so many other things that are horrible.  So it is anything but easy. 

There are so many people who love Liz and are willing to help out wherever it is needed.  I know some people feel like they don't know how they can help.  I know, because I am in that position too!  I guess it comes down to the fact that we all like to 'fix' things and when there is no chance of being able to fix anything we feel pretty helpless.  Liz can now only rely on the doctors who have her best interest at heart to get her through this.  I do know that my feelings of helplessness and anger and sadness are my things that I need to work through. My stuff.  And Liz has her stuff.  And everyone has their own stuff.  Sometimes all this stuff makes us feel like we are walking alone in this journey.  So how can we make sure that we link together and support each other?  Well the way in which I have done it is by writing this blog.  It makes me feel like I am helping in some small way.  Spending time with Liz and just hanging out makes me feel better and hopefully it makes Liz feel a bit happier too.  I just hope that Liz doesn't feel lonely.  I know that she has to go through this alone as no-one can take her place, but going through something alone and going through it being lonely is very different.

Liz has been feeling quite poorly lately.  She spent some time in hospital to try and feel better.  She was unable to see anyone during this time which frankly was torture for those of us who just wanted to be there!  But we respected what she needed and let her catch up on the rest that she needed.  She's home now and I was privileged enough to spend some time with her and her lovely kids on Saturday.  She said that so many people have commented on how well she is looking.  She was surprised I think only because she felt so horrible!  However, I have been thinking about it and I think what they were saying was that Liz's radiance is still there and her lovely smile is still there showering us with joy whenever it turns our way.

So after that enormous ramble (sorry about that!) I guess I should update you on where everything is at.  I mentioned that Liz was in hospital but is now home again.  In my last post I said that she was hoping to start the chemo next week.  It looks like it might be a couple of weeks away yet.  She needs to continue getting healthier and feeling better before starting the chemo.  At this stage there is no date but once there is I will let you all know.

Apologies for the self indulgent post.  I don't have a huge amount to update you on but I know that there are lots of people out there who are struggling with this and I just want to let you know that you are not alone.  We can support each other and we can support Liz.  I know that Liz feels all the love pouring her way but I don't think we can take it as permission to stop sending the love.  So send all the love and positive thoughts and anything else you can Liz's way.  She needs it and this is what we can do to help.  Oh, and it is something that IS easy.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxxx

Radiation done and dusted!

Yep, all 15 sessions of the Radiation therapy are finished!  Yay!

Liz has been a bit surprised at how much she has been affected by it.  She is feeling pretty blah and very tired.  The doctors wanted her to stay in hospital yesterday on a drip to try and perk her up a bit but Liz insisted she go home so home she is!  Being stubborn has it's advantages!

Now Liz is resting and trying to get as much sleep as possible.  She has a break for the next two weeks and then chemo will start - possibly on the 4th of September.  She has an appointment with her chemo doctor next week to discuss the treatment and the start date.

Here's hoping that Liz starts to feel better and stronger over the next two weeks.  The chemo is going to be another big hit to her system so it would be great if she goes into it feeling better. 

Lots of rest, lots of care and lots of love.  That's what Liz needs right now.  Luckily there are lots of people who are there to provide!

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Taking its toll

It was lovely to catch up with Liz and her family on the weekend.  What was immediately obvious is that the treatment is now taking its toll on Liz. 

Liz is incredibly courageous and has the most amazing capacity to take every moment and find the positive.  Her beautiful smile is never far from her face and she is just wonderful to hang out with.  One of the best friends a person could ever wish to have, how blessed am I to have her in my life?

So when the treatment is taking its toll and Liz tries to put a brave face on it, I just want to fix it. But I can't.

Her voice is pretty much gone again.  This time due to her throat being sore.  Could be caused by the ulcers in her mouth.  Her face is swollen from the drugs and the radiation and the face mask.  She's still beautiful - no amount of swelling or loss of hair will change that! 

Today her hair started to fall out.  She's really, really tired.  Now is the time for her to slow down and look after herself as much as possible.  Knowing Liz though, she will go through the days at a million miles an hour.  That's just what she is like!

So if you are catching up with her anytime soon, she may just need a quick nap!



Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Review number 1

Liz is starting to feel the effects of the treatment now.   Her throat is very sore as is the roof of her mouth.  Swallowing is difficult and painful.  I know how horrible you feel when you have a mouth ulcer with the constant pain and this must be significantly worse. 

The review went well with the doctor saying that the tumour is getting smaller and Liz is responding to the treatment as they had hoped.  The doctor said that there are no crystal balls so cannot predict the future but they are trying their best to fix it. 

So the good news is that the tumour is shrinking, she is responding well to the treatment and Liz has this amazing capacity to make the best of everything that gets thrown at her.

It's now time to be gentle while her body starts to adapt to this intense treatment. 

Thanks to everyone who is following her journey, I know that Liz is feeling the love.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Let's Celebrate!

I remember when I first spoke to Liz about her cancer diagnosis, we discussed celebrating all the good things no matter how big or small.  Well we have something to celebrate!  Liz has got her voice back!  Although not back to her original voice, it is a lot better than it was.  The doctors weren't sure if she would ever get it back but she did!  Liz also feels that the radiation is working already after 4 sessions as the heaviness in her chest is feeling better.

There are so many people who have pitched in to help Liz and her family and I personally wanted to thank them so much.  To those who have helped taking Liz to her appointments or made dinners or have helped out around the home and with the kids and to all of those who have provided emotional support -THANK YOU!  How awesome that so many people are rallying around and helping out.

Peace and happiness
Yvette
xxx

Fasten your seatbelts!

Radiation day one is complete!

Liz said it all went well and they have been checking her pacemaker carefully as they decided not to move it.   The pacemaker doctor has said that they will need to check it after each session to make sure that it is working ok.  He believes that it may crack towards the end of the treatment.  Obviously this doesn't fill Liz with overwhelming confidence.

Here is a picture of Liz with her radiation mask:





It looks like an instrument of torture but here's hoping it becomes an instrument of health.

Liz also ran into the glamorous chemo doctor Sally who said that her voice will get worse before it gets better.  Considering that Liz is speaking in a whisper at the moment it seems difficult to understand that it can get worse.  Although I must admit Liz's party trick of being able to get volume if she spoke in a lower register was pretty spectacular!

It seems as though Liz may not lose her hair immediately so that is good news as well BUT she will look beautiful no matter what. 

Liz now has to look forward to about 15 more chest radiations and 14 head radiations over the next 3 or so weeks.  This will of course take a toll on her energy levels and her general wellbeing.  She also needs to keep an eye out on her heart and if the pacemaker stops working for any reason (mainly because it may be damaged by the radiation) she will need to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.

So the good news is that the treatment has started and so far so good.  I admire the courage that Liz shows through all of this, I am constantly in awe of her strength and humour and just how damned positive she is!  There is so much to learn off this beautiful person which I'm sure you will all agree with!

Will keep you updated as things continue along this journey.

Peace and happiness
Yvette

It's time....

Some of you may pray,

Some of you may cross your fingers and toes,

Some of you may keep her in your thoughts,

Some of you may send healing vibes,

Some of you may dance around a campfire naked!

Whatever you do, please do it for Liz as she starts her treatment tomorrow.  She starts with radiation on her chest followed by her head.  She does this for the rest of the week and then I believe there will be a review early next week. 

Let's send our prayers, thoughts, healing vibes, best wishes, positivity and of course our love towards Liz as we all wish her the very best on this crappy journey she is on.  Here's a photo of the whole family taken at my house on the weekend:



Peace and Happiness
Yvette

It's not just a husky voice from talking too much

So that everyone is aware, Liz has given me permission to write this up and share it with you all.

By now, you have probably caught up with the news about Liz having a reoccurrence of the Cervical Cancer that she finished treatment for about 18 months ago.

It started just over a month ago now when Liz had a couple of episodes of waking up at night feeling nauseous and then fainting.  She took herself off to the hospital to get it checked out.

They scanned her brain and her heart and found that she had a condition in her heart which required a pacemaker.  They also found a lesion in her brain.

So they put in the pacemaker to help her heart at night and scanned the rest of her body to see if there was cancer anywhere due to her history.  They found cancer in her lungs and identified the lesion in her brain as cancer as well.

If that wasn't scary enough, Liz had some additional symptoms about a week later where she was feeling short of breath and was regurgitating her food.  She mentioned this to her doctor during a routine meeting to discuss the treatment plan. 

What was discovered was a SVCO (goggle it!) and this was affecting her heart.  After some scary talk from the doctor and lots of serious faces they started radiation on her chest straight away.  A week in hospital followed this latest development.  The good news is that the cancer that was affecting her heart responded to the radiation.

The bad news is that the cancer in her lungs seems to have increased in the last couple of weeks.  The treatment plan is for 15 sessions of radiation on her chest and 15 on her head (the chest and head will be radiated on the same day).  After this it will be 15 weeks of chemo.

There is additional worry over the pacemaker being in the way of the radiation on her lungs. So the choice is to either move the pacemaker out of the way or remove it completely for the time being.

So that is a quick summary thus far!  Over the weekend, Liz attended her school reunion and ended up with a hoarse voice on Sunday.  She attributed this to speaking pretty much non-stop for 3 hours in a noisy bar.  However, her voice hasn't recovered.

Today she went to the hospital to have it checked out.  Super hero sister Helen drove her there at 6.30am.  They have found another cancer tumour which is pressing on her voice box which is affecting her vocal chords.  Her left vocal chord is working away as normal but her right vocal chord is not doing anything!  The ENT doctor said he only sees this a couple of times a year.  If you didn't already know that Liz was special then this would prove it to you!

The plan now is for the treatment to start next Tuesday (30th of July).  It starts with radiation over the next 2-3 weeks.  After that the chemo starts.

When the radiation starts on her head, Liz will start to lose her hair.  She is already prepared with a wig and beanie.  I suggested that she maybe could use this as an opportunity to live life as a blonde for a while but she is sticking with the brunette theme!  Guess people will take her more seriously!

Even without the use of one of her vocal chords, it is hard for Liz to update everyone with all the changes.  You can imagine how it can be emotional and also difficult to tell the same thing over and over.  Hopefully this way I can help spread the news and keep everyone updated.  I know that you all are worried about Liz and want to support her.  This is one way in which I hope I can be helpful.  If at any time Liz doesn't want to share something, I will stop.

I hope my next entry will be to celebrate the start of the treatment and then to hear the news that the cancers are getting smaller and smaller.  I apologise to Liz if I have made any mistakes on this!

Peace and happiness.
Yvette